the exponential theories

Here are two:

1. the Exponential Theory of Relatives: For each relative you add to any given situation--you know, like another aunt--there is an exponential rise in the time it takes to do whatever it is you are trying to do, rather than an incremental increase.
(This results in things like family trips to theme parks that don't actually get out the door before 11:30 AM, although some of the members of the family were up at the crack of dawn to try to be there by 9 A.M.)

2. The Exponential Theory of the DE-expansion of Time: For each year of life which you accrue incrementally, there is an inverse exponential DEcrease in available time. That is the reason it seems to take forever for school to get out when you are 7 and seems to be only a blip on the yearly screen when you're 47. That inverse factor of 40 years does an exponential number on your available time.

Let's hear from you scientists out there. These are important theories that should not go ignored. You thought EINSTEIN was smart! But if he'd only had ME to help him, he'd have articulated these two theories out as well!