A bald-faced advertisement

The book is titled, "The Art of Possibility" by Roz and Benjamin Zander. She's a therapist and he is the conductor of the Boston Symphony. It's a terrific little book written by a couple of people who understand that the process is more important than the product but that such a view is also generally the origination point for better product, as well.
This is taken directly from it, talking about solving problems by creating the possibility of thinking in terms of "WE" instead of "you" and "i" ...which is currently sounding the death knell of several marriages in my purview:

". . . in the WE approach the assumption is that the entity WE. . . is forever evolving, forever in motion. Often just the use of the word WE can shift the direction things take.

Here is another i/You conversation: She says, "Get that woman out of your life or I will leave this marriage." He lies to her, or tries to appease her, or tries to get her to change her mind to give him more time. And the WE approach: She says, "I am miserable with this situation, and I believe you are too. I'm so angry I don't know what to do. And I love you. What do WE want to have happen here? What is best for US?" The practice of the WE gives us a method for reclaiming "the other" as one of us.

Traditional methods of resolving conflict, all the I/You approaches, tend to increase the level of discord because they attempt to satisfy the dichotomous positions people take . . . I/You methods deprive people of the opportunity to wish inclusively. They do not give people the chance to want what the story of the WE says we are thirsting for: connecting to others through our dreams and visions.

While the WE practice can enhance any aspect of your life, it also poses a risk. It is not a technique for arriving at a decision based on known quantities; it's an integrative process that yields the next step. It asks you to the trust that what you set in motion will serve you over the long line. What happens after that is not in your control but springs spontaneously from the WE itself."

Read this book. if you're a Christ-follower, you'll recognize that the thinking is biblical in many ways: that risk-taking element, that acting out of faith, is not of this world! If you're a musician, you'll be amazed and gratified to learn that not every conductor on this planet is a miserable tyrant bent on musical world domination. and if you're a little on the open-ended side, you'll be affirmed in that feeling that indeed, process is worth more than a palletful of product!